It has an excellent sound to it, right? Safety, being safe. But what does it mean, where does it come from, and what is its primary driver? I recently picked up free skating again and am a big fan of wearing protection. I call this safety. When I look at it from the perspective of life, I have a different opinion.

What is safety, where does it come from, and what price do you pay for it?

Safety is something that comes from the outside, like the earlier example of wearing protection during skating. It comes from the outside, meaning you can’t control it. In other words, focussing on safety is a waste of energy, and on top of that, fear is its main driver.

What if I fall? I might hurt myself badly!

Safety always comes at a price and balances out with freedom. Wearing protections takes some mobility away; that’s a small price to pay. But what if you are on a most-wanted list and have to live in a bunker? It is very safe, but the price you pay is enormous. You don’t have daylight; you can’t go outside without protection. There the balance between safety and freedom can be seen clearly. No safety live in an ordinary house and go outside, maximum safety living in a bunker unable to go outside.

The opposite of safety is resilience

This sounds weird, right? Because obviously, the opposite of being safe is unsafe. Let me give you a different perspective; safety comes from the outside, resilience comes from within. So no control versus being in control.

Resilience is something you can build by taking the path of most resistance and doing hard things.

• Read more about that here: Be like Hercules and take the path of most resistance

When looking again at the skating analogy, wearing pads doesn’t make you a better skater and won’t give you any confidence. Practicing is something you control. You might fall a few times, but you are not driven by fear but by confidence, making you the better skater.

In life, when driven by fear and safety, you will get stuck at a certain point. And you will be asking yourself questions like:

I want to chase my dream, but I have a good job now. What if I can’t pay my bills?

I want to learn something new, but what if I can’t do it?

I would love to go for that promotion, but I’m comfortable and safe here

Conclusion

Become more resilient. Do hard things, things you don’t like to build it up from the inside and take control. Don’t fool yourself and get stuck in the trap of safety and outside influences you can’t control.