Are you having a hard time mentally? Are you feeling tired, no energy to do anything? We all know that feeling. It almost feels like you are heavy and in a way that makes sense. In this article, I will talk about mental burdens a lot of us are carrying without even being aware of it. So what are those burdens?

The habits I will mention don’t seem that big in the first place. But when those things are ingrained in your personality and habits. The burdon will get bigger and bigger over time. And to longer you keep continuing with it, the harder it gets to get rid of it.

These are the two habits I’m talking about:

• You are not authentic to yourself
• You are holding on to opinions for no specific reason

Practical examples

Let me use two examples to clarify what I mean by this.

Perfect picture

Let’s take social media. Everybody looks nice, they are happy, fit enjoying their lives. What most people don’t realize is the amount of effort that’s put into just creating the right picture:

• Exactly the right moment is required
• Looks need to be perfect
• The angle needs to be perfect
• Lightning
• Etc.

So as you can see before this actual picture is posted, a lot of things had to be done beforehand. When we are not authentic to ourselves we post this perfect picture of ourselves that we think the outside world accepts and likes and it is costing a lot of energy. You have mentally had to set up that picture and prepare it before you act that makes you heavy. To keep this up and sooner or later it’s going to catch up on you. Which I can tell you from my own experience.

Brand loyalty

Holding on to opinions for no specific reason, but pride. Take brand loyalty for example. When you say:

“Well I only buy shoes from certain brands or food from a certain company.”

The more of those believes you have, the more you are limiting yourself. For example, when you are going somewhere where they don’t have those brands, you’ll feel a lot of resistance coming up. Because you have to do something that goes against your pride and against your beliefs. When if you had no brand loyalty you would feel no resistance at all which makes you much more agile and lightweight.

Now imagine this brand loyalty being beliefs about persons in your life, politics, or groups of people. It has the same effect it cripples you! It makes you heavy.

My perfect picture

I was a consultant with a fancy title, tailor-made suits, and expensive Spanish shoes. I was putting up this whole facade, being this fast and slick guy. All because I felt status was important. As a result, I attracted people based on that lifestyle. Imagine now I’m at work and in my spare time, pretending to be someone that I am not. It was my way of trying to fit in. I was afraid of what other people would think of me for being myself.

This persona was so far out of my comfort zone, that the longer I played that game, the harder it was for me to get out.

The realization

Realization comes differently for everyone. We all have this moment and you realize:

“What the hell am I doing? This is not right…”

For me, it was when I got my first son. I thought about the example I would set for him. How could I teach him anything about life if mine was just one big facade? I started to ask the hard questions to myself, that I imagine one day my son would ask me:

• “Do you enjoy your work?”

• “Are you satisfied with your life?”

• “Are you healthy?”

I started to answer them truthfully and took action upon those answers. A great concept for this is the accountability mirror by David Goggins. Read more about that here: The accountability mirror by David Goggins

I’m in a lot better place now. I “post” regular realistic pictures of myself. It feels agile and lightweight because there is no preparation and actions (energy) required to post this. This is something I want for my kids as well, but it’s something you can’t teach them if you don’t live that life yourself.

Conclusion

Compare the way you want to fit in with camouflage it makes you, your authentic self almost invisible. When you take that camouflage off, you will be seen, you’ll start to attract people to the real you. They recognize their quirks in yours and you will realize everybody is a bit weird, like yourself. This will give you confidence and causes a snowball effect. You’ll gain more valuable relationships, where you dare to let go of old opinions and open up to new ones. You’ll get more confidence, which allows you to take that camouflage off bit by bit. It’s not easy, but the benefit you gain with this is indescribable.

So start taking off that camouflage and be yourself all it takes is the first step!